Is Your Child Being Robbed?

If a child is forced to say thank you or sorry, then he is robbed of a chance to express his own heartfelt gratitude or apology.

If a child is forced to eat two more bites of dinner, then she is robbed of a chance to feel just full enough to be satisfied.

If a child is forced to clean up, then he is robbed of a chance to show how helpful he can be, voluntarily.

If a child is forced to wear a jacket, then she is robbed of a chance to feel cold enough to know when she really needs one.

If a child is forced to stop crying, then he is robbed of a chance to express his fears or his dreams.

If a child is told she is not good enough, then she is robbed of a chance to be happy with herself the way she is.

All those times we exert control over our children, we are taking away chances for them to control themselves. How do we expect our children to learn "self-control" if we don't let them practice it?

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Read about one woman's struggles with a controlling parent over at Parent-Free By Choice.

Please Note: None of the examples above have anything to do with a child running into the street, or anything else involving imminent danger. Also, I have not said we should never guide our children.

How We Eat

We usually don't do traditional meals at our house, in that most of the time, I don't make individual plates for the kids and we do not have set meal times. Instead, I have a few platters with small sections and I put different foods in each section.  I cut up vegetables, fruit, meat, bread, cheese, and I even include candy, cookies, or chips.

Tomatoes, Carrots, Mango, Avocado, Blueberries, Purple Licorice, and Bacon

Rather than sit at a high table, we eat at the coffee table so the kids can reach it easily, and they can come and go as they please. We do this two or three times a day, and we snack on things in between. As I explained in Food Freedom last week, my children are free to eat whatever, whenever. Sometimes they have ice cream or popsicles or chips while I am fixing a platter. Often they will put down a half-eaten popsicle once the platter comes out.

Some of my favorite things about the platter way:

Food Freedom

We are nation confused about food. It seems like every week, there is a new study about what's good for you and what's bad for you. Experts do not agree. We have people advising us not to eat any meat, and others to eat mostly meat. We have some touting the goodness of whole grains, and others saying we don't need any grains at all. You can find advice to go gluten-free, dairy-free, low fat, low carb, raw, fermented, or a hundred other things.

One of the most difficult things about nutrition confusion is when you become a parent and suddenly you are responsible for not only your own choices, but also those of your children. Parents are advised that they know best. Parents are told to decide what their kids should eat, when their kids should eat, and how much they should eat. I've seen lots of articles over the years warning against giving kids too much food freedom.

But how are we supposed to decide what is best for our kids if the experts can't even agree on what's best for us?