Monday, July 4, 2011

Ten MORE Ways To Confuse a Child

  1. Tell him you are worried about his ability to focus (on doing things he's not at all interested in), but then get angry when he doesn't hear something you say because he's so focused (on doing something he loves).
  2. Whine about how annoying it is when he whines.
  3. Give him something really cool like a cell phone or computer, call it a "gift," and then take it away (or at least threaten to) whenever he does something you don't like.
  4. Scold him for "talking back" to you, and then be totally shocked when eventually he doesn't want to enthusiastically participate in conversations with you anymore.
  5. Make a rule that he can only eat dessert if his stomach is already full of non-dessert foods.
  6. Force him to use polite words when speaking to you, but get indignant when he reminds you to use the same words with him.
  7. Wake him up early for school five days a week, then get irritated when he wakes you up around the same time to play on the other two days.
  8. Tell him that it's time to leave somewhere Right Now! Then stand around chatting with someone for as long as you like and say, rudely, Just a minute! when he interrupts to ask why you aren't leaving yet.*
  9. Tell him there is a magic word he must use when making any request, but don't always grant his request, proving there is nothing magic about the word at all.
  10. Remind him regularly that you are his parent, not his friend, then make him feel guilty when he doesn't want to hang out with you.
*Thanks to Miven Trageser, Los Angeles Child Therapist, for suggesting this one in a comment on the original Ten Ways To Confuse a Child.