A Simple Solution To the Cheating Problem

I recently found another article by "parenting expert" Dr. Michele Borba called Raising Honest Kids Despite Cheating Epidemic. In it, she cites nine reasons why kids cheat, a few ways to tell if they are cheating without directly asking them, and six ways you can stop it.

Doesn't that sound complicated? What if I told you there is one simple way we can stop all kids from cheating? It's true. Here it is:

Stop grading the kids! It's amazing. No tests + No homework + No grades = no cheating. No reason to cheat.

But since that is not going to happen anytime soon, we have "expert" advice from people like Borba, on how to stop your kid from cheating. Here are a few of her tips for what to do if you suspect your child of cheating and my responses to them: 

Try practicing this move in the mirror. (source)

Announce that you will be monitoring your child’s “honesty quotient” much closer.

So you are to give your kid another grade to worry about? You will be testing him and grading him on his "honesty" from now on. This is compounding the problem. Telling your child that you are suspicious and you will be watching him even more closely might just lead to stealthier cheating. Like bacteria that become resistant to antibiotics. A kid who wants/needs to cheat to get by will find a way, despite your watchful eyes.

Let your child know honesty matters more to you than the grade. Push “effort” over “outcome.” Bless the parent who says, “It’s your integrity that I care about, Honey!”

Kids are not stupid. They will know that when you say this, what you really mean is that you want them to get good grades AND be honest. They know grades are important. If grades weren't important, they wouldn't be given so often. And since you probably do care about grades, your child will know you are not being honest. Be careful, because this might bring down your "honesty quotient" in your child's eyes.

Give your kid credit for owning up to his mistakes and having the courage to admit a lie. Behaviors that are reinforced are more likely to be repeated, and repeated behaviors are more likely to become new habits. Praise your child’s honesty.

The problem is that your child's cheating is already being "reinforced" by the better grades he gets when he cheats. You are going to have trouble undoing that. If you are a parent who consistently uses praise to get results from your children, then up until this point, you have most likely been praising good grades. Your child might be cheating because he wants to please you, and this is the best way he has figured out how to do that. Now you are going to praise him for "being honest," even if that means he fails? That is confusing.

Create a solution so the cheating problem doesn’t escalate. If there is no time to do homework so he copies, then cut one of those darn activities. If he is lazy and doesn’t want to do the work, then eliminate those extra privileges such as television.

This is my least favorite tip of all. Take away something your kid enjoys (activity, television), so he can spend more time doing homework or studying? Tell your child that the things he enjoys are so unimportant that some of them need to be cut out of his life completely? Bad, bad idea.


Here is my tip for you parents who think your child might be cheating: Stand up for your child. Let your child know that his interests are important, even if they are not in academic subjects. Instead of "cutting one of those darn activities" try cutting down on the pressure of school. Let the school know that your child won't be spending hours every night doing homework and studying for tests. He has better things to do. Get together with other parents and demand less homework or no homework. Don't let the school take childhood away from your child.

After all, grades are not that important to you, right? Right?? So help your child to forget about the grades and spend some more time enjoying life.