It doesn't to me.
Because we all have our own ideas about what it even means to be a good mother, so there is no standard way to judge.
You might say I'm a good mother if my children are quiet and reserved in public. But how do you know they aren't only acting that way because they are afraid of me? Afraid of what I will do to them if they make any noise or sudden movements? And if that's your idea of a good mother, then count me out.
You might say I'm a bad mother if I let my kids go out without brushing their hair. Or if I grant their requests without demanding that they say please. Or if I don't make them go to school. Or if I let them eat candy before dinner. Or if I let them stay up late at night.
We live this way because we allow our children the freedom to make their own choices. Because we trust our children to know what they need. We care about what they want. We value our relationships with our children above all else. If all this makes me a bad mother in your eyes, then I'm all right with that.
Because right now there are two people in the world whose opinions of me as a mother matter to me. And those two people are right here:
My children help me to be a good mother to them, by letting me know what they need. They help me by telling me when they appreciate the things I do that make them feel good. They help me by telling me when something I do hurts their feelings. By forgiving me when I offer a sincere apology.
My children help me to be more reasonable. They make me question everything that does not make sense. I am also lucky to have a husband who makes me think. I listen to my children and my husband, and I can redefine what makes a good mother as often as I need to. That doesn't mean I always get it right. It doesn't mean I always know what's best or that I am perfect. And it doesn't mean I think I'm better than you.
Repeat: I don't think I am a better mother than you are! We are not in a competition. However, I do think I am a better mother than I would otherwise be if I didn't listen to my children.
Whose opinions about your mothering do you value most? Do your actions mostly reflect the answer to that question?