Friday, April 22, 2011


Hopeless is what I imagine two girls must have felt as they took their own lives last weekend. The fourteen-year-olds got together for a sleepover, and hanged themselves, leaving behind sad suicide notes and sadder families.

The girls had apparently been bullied at school. They were harassed about things like their weights and hair colors. What is a child to do when she is a victim of bullying?

 Tell a trusted adult? Some family members have admitted that these girls tried telling their families how bad it was, saying "Maybe we should have paid closer attention." The girls' concerns were not taken seriously.

Fight back? One of these girls was recently expelled from school for getting in a fight as she was trying to defend her friend against the bullies. So then the girls weren't even able to be together anymore, to support each other.

Run away? A girl in Connecticut did this about a month ago. She spent three days alone in an abandoned farmstand, and was thankfully found alive and well, and not forced to go back to school right away.

What if nothing helps? Then the unthinkable happens. Two young people end their own lives, feeling like it's the only way out.

Parents, is your child's education more important than her mental health? Is it more important than her life? I'm sure there are two sets of parents in Minnesota right now who would tell you it's not.

Please, listen to your child. Take complaints seriously. Give hope. Your child doesn't have to face a bully for one more day. In all fifty states, it is perfectly legal to pull your child out of school. Any time. If your child is a victim, just do it. Pull her out of school now, and figure it out later. Before there is no hope left. It could save her life.


  1. It is so sad when children take their lives.

    I think that schools actually set up a situation that creates bullying. When I have more time, and have done more research, I plan to write an extensive post and maybe an article on it. I am a teacher so I see what goes on (I also do't see a lot of what goes on). We had anti-bullying week two weeks ago and I think it brings attention to the issue but does little to prevent it. Including pink shirt day (I'm not sure yet if you are American or Canadian but pink shirt day is Canadian).

    I just found your blog and love it.

  2. Thanks Erin. Yes, I agree that the way schools are set up actually creates bullying. I remember those bullying assemblies we used to have when I was in school (I'm American btw). It always seemed like everyone was very moved, but it only lasted for a very short time. Then it was right back to the old ways again. There has to be something we can do about all of this.

    When you do write about it, let me know here. I would love to read it.

  3. I wish with all my heart my mom would have taken me seriously when I told her how mean the kids were at school. My children will NEVER have to go through this. I will NOT send them to school if there is going to be a bully there waiting for them.

  4. @pluckymama, I know what you mean. I posted a little bit about my struggles with bullies in school in "Socialization: My Thoughts." I think the biggest problem for me was just the feeling that there was nothing I could do. I didn't think it was possible or reasonable to switch schools or just leave school all together. I am hoping that my blog will open even just one person's eyes, so they can see that there are options.

  5. This is what I did. School was hell for me. When school turned out to be hell for my daughter too I decided it was not worth it. I would not allow my child to be destroyed the way I was. I am so grateful to my homeschooling friends who opened the door to this possibility.

    From my experience there is NOTHING you can do about bullies in school. Everything one attempts just seems to make it worse.

    Thankfully as a parent it is not my responsibility to fix the bully it is my responsibility to protect my child. The best way I found to do that was remove her from the equation. Teach her that she is not a prisoner and absolutely does not have to learn to live with it.

  6. @Anonymous, I applaud you for making the brave decision to let your daughter remove herself from that toxic situation. I agree it is the only way for bullying: to avoid the bully. It is so sad to think of all the kids who are taught that they have to learn to live with it, especially for the ones who decide it's not worth living anymore if that's what life is. People need to hear more stories like yours, stories of empowerment and hope.